Key Principles of Conversation

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How much of our time is spent in conversation?

Why is conversation so important? The answer is because most of us spend a staggering proportion of our waking life interacting with each other. For teachers, people in customer-facing roles or managers of teams this can be more than 75 per cent of their average day. However technically skilled they may be, the progress of so many talented and intelligent individuals is constrained because their skills in conversation have never advanced from being merely functional to being expert. That’s where conversationexpert.com comes in.

What do we mean by conversation?

For our distant ancestors, conversation required people to be within speaking distance of each other, but the invention of the telephone and the internet have changed all that. Conversationexpert.com treats face-to-face interactions, phone calls, text and online chat as forms of conversation – so long as they’re two-way.

What happens when conversations go wrong? 

There are 4 common situations:

The Tangle – where crossed wires lead to uncertainty and confusion, uncoordinated action and frustrated expectations. How often do you shake your head in bewilderment and wonder how on earth a mix-up occurred?

The Big Argument – where a conversation has spiralled out of control and into a bitter row with a partner, family member, work colleague or neighbour.

The Bad Place – where the conversation you were having with someone has gone horribly wrong and you’re in the mire. Or where you simply feel disconnected and fed up with someone and left wondering how you’re going to address the issue or recover the situation.

The Lock Down – where the shutters come down, so that feelings and thoughts are internalized or withheld.

In Blamestorming, I explore how to get out of these situations, and how to prevent ourselves from getting into them in the first place.

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